“Honour your father and your mother” is one of the most well-known verses in the Bible, found in Exodus 20:12. It is part of the Ten Commandments, yet many believers often wonder what it truly means. Does honouring parents simply mean obedience?
The Origin of the Command: Exodus 20:12 Explained
The fifth commandment appears in Exodus 20:12:
“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
A Command with a Promise
Unlike some of the other commandments, this one carries a direct promise — long life and blessing in the land God provides. It connects obedience and reverence for parents with God’s gift of stability, security, and flourishing.
Not Just for Children
Many think of this command as applying only to young children. However, in its original context, it was given to the entire community of Israel, including adults. Honouring parents was about lifelong respect, care, and acknowledgment of authority, not simply childhood obedience.
What Does It Mean to “Honour” Your Parents?
The Hebrew word for “honour” (כָּבֵד, kabed) literally means to give weight to or to treat as important.
Respect and Reverence
To honour parents means to treat them with dignity, recognizing their God-given role in bringing life, guidance, and nurture. This includes speaking respectfully, valuing their wisdom, and not dismissing their role even in adulthood.
Care and Responsibility
Biblically, honouring parents also extends to caring for them in their old age. Jesus criticized the Pharisees in Mark 7:9–13 for neglecting this responsibility while claiming to keep God’s law. True honour is active and practical, not just verbal.
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The Commandment in Old and New Testament Context
The fifth commandment is foundational in the Old Testament, but it also reappears in the New Testament, showing its ongoing importance.
Old Testament Foundations
In Deuteronomy 5:16, the command is repeated with emphasis on God’s blessing. Honouring parents was tied to Israel’s covenant identity and social stability. Families were the building blocks of a faithful community, and this law protected that order.
New Testament Application
Paul echoes the command in Ephesians 6:1–4, urging children to obey their parents but also reminding fathers not to provoke their children. This shows the reciprocal nature of family relationships in Christ. Honouring parents is not blind obedience but part of a loving, God-centred household.
Why Honouring Parents Matters Spiritually
Honouring parents is not just a family value; it is a spiritual act of honouring God.
Reflecting God’s Authority
God uses family structure to mirror His authority and care. When children learn respect for parents, they also learn reverence for God.
Building a Healthy Society
Strong families form the foundation of stable societies. By honouring parents, individuals contribute to community well-being, reflecting God’s design for human flourishing.
Common Misunderstandings About the Commandment
Because this command is so familiar, it is sometimes misinterpreted.
Does Honour Mean Obedience at All Costs?
No. Honouring parents does not mean agreeing with sinful behaviour or enabling harm. Christians are called to respect parents while keeping God’s will as the highest authority.
Is It Only for Children Living at Home?
Not at all. Adults are also called to honour their parents through gratitude, support, and care. The commandment is lifelong.
Living Out the Commandment Today
How can believers today put this ancient command into practice?
Everyday Respect
- Speak kindly about parents, both in private and public.
- Listen with patience, even when opinions differ.
Lifelong Care
- Support aging parents emotionally, physically, and, when needed, financially.
- Involve parents in family life, showing they remain valued and needed.
A Commandment That Shapes Faith and Family
The call to honour your father and mother is far more than a rule for children. It is a timeless principle that strengthens families, reflects God’s authority, and brings blessing to communities of faith.
For deeper study, resources like Bible Gateway provide multiple translations and commentaries to help explore this command further.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does “honour your father and mother” really mean?
It means showing deep respect, gratitude, and care for your parents throughout their lives. Biblically, it goes beyond childhood obedience to include lifelong responsibility and recognition of their God-given role.
Is honouring parents the same as always obeying them?
No. While children are called to obey their parents, honouring does not mean agreeing with or enabling sinful behaviour. Respect remains, but God’s authority always comes first.
Why does the Bible attach a promise of long life to this command?
Exodus 20:12 connects honouring parents with long life in the land God provides. This reflects both personal blessing (a stable, peaceful life) and communal blessing (strong families leading to a strong society).
How can adults honour their parents today?
Adults can honour their parents by showing gratitude, offering emotional and financial support when needed, caring for them in old age, and maintaining respectful communication even during disagreements.
What if my parents were not good role models?
Even in difficult family situations, believers can honour parents by maintaining respect, choosing forgiveness, and praying for reconciliation.
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